Rest & Integration, from Burgiel of Sirius

On feeling a need for more rest and integration even when there is work ahead to be done – Burgiel of Sirius as channeled by David Jonathan Hrostoski, on their quarterly Patreon channel night Q&A. Shared with permission.
Me: I feel the need to rest a lot more than I’m normally comfortable with – although not resting would not feel comfortable, clearly that’s why I’m feeling called to rest – my question is that, as someone who is working on re-sensitizing in her relationship with her body, meaning that I had become accustomed throughout most of my life to ignore my body’s signals and to keep on operating from that brain space, from that space of, “no I’m in scarcity, therefore I have to work, I have to do this,” and now trying to get to where I am listening to my body more – it’s sometimes dificult for me to draw the distinction between when I need rest and integration, and when I’m just being lazy and don’t want to do anything.
Burgiel: Wonderful.
Me: So any pointers you might have for that kind of bodily discernment, for how much rest and integration is necessary, for what I can do to make sure that I’m furthering myself along on my path but also that I’m not trying to hurry it up so much that I actually end up spending, you know like the tortoise and the hare, I don’t want to accidentally trip myself up by forcing myself to work too hard either.
Burgiel: Absolutely. In many ways this is a really fine balance. We can briefly touch on this – David’s going to unpack this more which is why we didn’t get into this at the beginning – but essentially what we’re beginning to suss out with him, is this idea that you are continually expanding, there is no contraction, there is no deep deep deep deep contracted space. From our perspective essentially what’s happening is you are either expanding out in your physical reality, meaning you are building and creating here, or you are expanding your awareness in your own internal world. Now during that expanded internal awareness there are often times where you begin to see more and more of yourself, and in that it can be rather painful, because you’re essentially seeing the pieces that are most out of alignment with who you truly are and who you’re becoming – those are  the things that are bubbling up to the surface. You’re noticing the pieces of you that are either tired or resistant to continuing to lean into the current projects or things that are there even though you are feeling some energy driving towards there and are really hoping to find that balance there – so on one hand from this sort of macro individual self there’s this idea of this balance between this internal awareness building and this external reality expansion. And that’s a continual balance – sometimes those things are happening simultaneously, other times those things are happening a little bit more distinct in separate pockets of time. But the recognition that those internal times are just as much a period of expansion, you’re just expanding your own internal awareness and understanding of who you truly are, from that understanding it’s all a piece of it. And that’s really the most important piece here that we really want to be able to stress the most around the work in particular, especially driving hard with work, is that these internal awareness building pockets of your experience and these resistances and all the things that are coming up are just as important and are just as much of a piece of this as the physical, tangible work. And there are times when the sequence of those things is fairly precise, to where when you are putting out a particular project, it’s calling you forword to be a slightly larger iteration of yourself than you previously were capable of holding, which then in turn necessitates that you do the work to be able to become that, to actually do the thing you’re wanting to do and that you have said yes to, your yeses are necessitating your growth as you continue to move along this path, so there will be times where you feel completely wiped out, internally, and instead of powering through, we do recommend taking time to pull back a little bit at least to build the awareness of what’s happening because regardless of whether or not it’s just bodily exhaustion or resistance, that is actually the next fundamental step, that is the thing that is this essentially in between this iteration of yourself and the next self that is birthing, that iteration that is doing that thing. So versus figuring out how to power through something, we always just say turn around and face it, and essentially bring even more awareness into that pocket of your reality because that’s what’s asking to happen. That is the internal expansion of awareness that’s wanting to happen before this next wave of the external expansion can really come into physical reality. They continue to complement one another and in essence always have to match. Your internal self will continue to expand to match your external self, your external self will continue to expand, and all of the things you are creating and stepping into will continue to expand and grow in magnificence as your internal self is also growing and expanding. They’re feeding back on each other growing and almost challenging and coaxing the other out, does that make sense?
There’s this sequence of understanding that so many individuals follow and almost create for themselves as if when this A step happens, B, C, D absolutely needs to happen now and it needs to happen in a certain particular way. And int so many cases, there’s the internal reality that is just wanting to catch up, it’s wanting to expand, there’s energies that are wanting to land, and these pieces of reality that aren’t really well understood in your collective so they aren’t talked about so they aren’t prioritized, but this includes meditation and invocation and landing the physical energetics of this, physically and energetically becoming the person who continues to not only step into those states but sustain a new baseline. And all of this takes that internal time. So we love the realizations, we love everything that’s turning, we see the direction that the gears are turning, and we lovingly continue to push those gears in those directions.
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